I don’t want to admit how many times I have visited the consulate’s website looking for the link to the application. There are many pages about the application and they all follow a circle of internet frustration more hopeless than Groundhog’s Day. I finally happened upon it about nine days ago, but it was lost in a Google Chrome Crash.

Another frustrating bout of fruitlessly following purple links, and a History File Eureka moment later, and victory was mine!

And now it’s yours:

https://scedv.serpro.gov.br/frscedv/

Boa Viagem!

Peruvian food is unlike anything else, so it’s difficult to compare or even describe. But I’ll attempt to share some highlights.

From the exotic: I ate alpaca. Which is kind of like a more adorable llama. I found it to be lean, but tasty – like elk. I also ate cuy. What is cuy, you ask? Well, it’s guinea pig. This may be hard to believe, but it’s actually really, really good. The meat reminded me of poultry, but the crispy fat was like pork belly. I tried it at a very upscale restaurant so it was obviously well prepared, but the meat was for sure tasty, regardless of preparation.

Potato varieties here are a plenty. Another favorite of mine was the large kernel corn that they sell just about everywhere in Cusco. Popcorn is also immensely popular, and like their potatoes, comes in many different varieties.

Food at the Amazon refuge was pretty au natural. A lot of local fruit and vegetables along with some meat. Let’s say between that and all the hiking, I got a good start to a diet regime. That said, I did get to try a lot of fruits that are insanely expensive, or just unavailable in the states and eat them right off the trees. For example, star fruit, passion fruit, this tomato juice that was really good. Not the tomato you’re thinking of. It’s called tomato de arbol and can’t be eaten, but made into juice. Similar to pineapple juice, but less sweet.

I also got to eat a banana off a tree. I know bananas aren’t terrible exciting, but pulling it off the tree and eating it certainly was. Speaking of off trees…fresh brazil nuts….I don’t know how I’ll be able to go back, especially since there’s no machete involved in opening the ones we buy at the store.

The pisco sours that are allegedly the national drink of peru (I say allegedly because here in Chile, they say it’s their national drink) are delicious. Somewhere between a margarita and a whiskey sour with an egg white. And you get one free just about everywhere. Another soft drink I kept seeing on airplanes and in convenience stores was Inca Kola. It was bright yellow. I was intrigued….and then disappointed. It was pretty much just cream soda…not my favorite.

Finally, although there’s not much to do in Lima, if you have the opportunity to stay and eat a few meals, I would recommend it. There are some really top-notch restaurants around that are very reasonably priced. I had a rather memorable scallops (still in their shells) and toasted parmesan experience that I won’t soon forget. And while passé now in the states among the tragically trendy, ceviche is still very much a staple. Peru claims it….but I’ve heard other Latin American countries making similar claims.

Bottom line, even if you don’t want to venture too far into the exotic, there is something here for everyone. Buen Provecho!

The first bookend was fantastic. The lodge was run by a husband and wife. She was from Thailand, he was from Germany. They had five twenty-something volunteers from Germany, and Jose, the local. Jose picked me up from the airport, Donald, the husband, stopped by my bungalow to welcome me, and the Waddie, the wife, invited me to the pool-volleyball game that the eight of them would be playing that afternoon. The lodge has three psuedo-resident monkeys, two spider monkeys and a tiny white one, the type I’m not sure of. They have names and are extremely comfortable with the guests. Why, as soon as Lucha, the female spidar monkey, saw me, she ran over to me, took my hand and led me to the pool where everyone else was.

How wonderful.

I was very much looking forward to returning after my nights deeper in the jungle. At first, everything was OK. I was the only guest that day, but I figured it was OK. False. I would very soon be a foreigner with no allies. I don’t know what happened, but one of the volunteers got in trouble. I was sitting by the pool and suddenly heard a lot of yelling from Waddie. There were three languages this group of people were comfortable with before they got to English, so I gathered very little of it, except that someone wasn’t doing enough work. That was clear. I should have guessed this was coming based on the fact that the first thing that I heard from Waddie when she saw me was about all the wash she had just done.

Then came the hashing out between the husband and wife, which for some reason they decided to do by the pool. At first I thought that ignoring it would make things less awkward than getting up and leaving, calling attention to how uncomfortable I must be. However, as soon as Donald sat down and said, OK, I’ll sit and listen for five minutes, it was time to run away. I didn’t even bring my stuff with me, which would later prove to be a mistake as Lucha decided to start playing a game with me.

The hammock on my porch proved to be good cover. Soon, Lucho, the male spider monkey, appeared and got in the hammock. He kept changing positions to get comfortable, and finally settled on mimicking my position exactly and then passed out. Yes, monkeys snore. A little while later Lucha nocticed and wanted in too. I wouldn’t have minded except she had just been, charmingly, playing in the mud. There’s no good way to communicate to a monkey, you’re getting me dirty, so everyone had to get out of the hammock. Lucha was not happy and for the rest of the day played, “take the things I have lying around and laugh”. She attempted to steal my key, beach dress, DEET and sandles. I never saw the DEET or the other sandle again.Fortunately my need for mosquito cover was at an end.

Let’s be clear here, there’s really no town to go to. I was stuck with all these people in misery that only those who live together can cause each other. To their credit, they did attempt awkward small talk with me throughout the evening at dinner. And I was able to remove myself from the situation long enough to appreciate how hilarious it was to be watching German political talk-news with a bunch of Germans in the middle of Peru/the Amazon. Still…I could think of at least 15 places I’d rather be off the top of my head.

How wonderful.

All that said though, I’d still give the lodge a net positive as it did produce some of the better memories I have of my trip.

*I have rather enjoyed being out of touch (no phone, hardly any internet). This is directly related to how much I want to blog now that I DO have internet (very little )

*I got to eat, or chew rather, sugar cane, cut straight from the stalk. It is delicious. As is the fruit that grows around the seeds that they make white chocolate from.

*Speaking of food, I saw what a brazil nut looks off the tree. Actually, it’s a giant, coconut-like shell, inside which contains 10-15 of the brazil nuts you’re used to. I got to whack one open with a machete.

*I have a pair of Hunter boots. I wear them for weather (ahem…fashion) purposes. You may know them as rubber boots, goloshes, wellies or rain boots. In the Amazon, they are known as gum boots. Let me tell you something….up until a few days ago, I actually had no valid purpose for wearing this type of shoe. Now I have trudged through mud, rain water, fire ants and lord knows what else.

*You know those giant guinea pigs you see on the internet and look like they’ve just been photo-shopped into a picture? I saw one of those things…a capybara, along with a sloth, macaws, toucans and a whole lotta monkeys…one of whom was fond of napping with me while I read in my hammock, but more on that in my next post.

*Every time I go to the jungle/rainforest, I think….I love it here, this is where I should retire in 70 years. And then I’m there for 2 more days and remember how much I want to kill every bug around me. This isn’t really much different from being at home, it’s just that there are so many more bugs in the jungle.

*Everyone says they have Deet, but most people don’t use it. I base this solely on my observations of how many other people seem to have endless mosquito bites, whereas my jungle-exposed limbs are still midwest-winter-esque.

*It definitely rains in the rainforest. You know what dries in the rainforest? Nothing. Including my hair. First stop tomorrow morning – laundromat.

Once we landed and the cabin depressurized, I immediately felt the effects of the altitude. From what I heard though, I’ve had extremely mild symptoms, a headache for about half an hour. Also though, it is near impossible to exert myself in any way without gasping for breath. I’ve been eating coca candy to subdue the symptoms. I’m not sure I still need it for the symptoms, but find myself eating them now just because I like the taste.

There’s really only one thing to do in Cusco – shop. And it is filled with eager vendors. I find the ones in full-out Peruvian gear with their children and carrying lambs ALSO dressed up especially hard to resist. That said, I have managed to keep my spending to mostly Alpaca-related goods – the fabric of choice in Peru.

Today I visited a more ancient city – Machu Picchu. It’s hard to describe if you’ve never been there, but given my flat land roots, it is incredibly hard to conceive of a city built into the mountains…in the shape of a condor. It’s really incredible and definitely worth a look if you are ever in these parts. I took many, many pictures which I hope to share soon. The train ride also had some scenic moments, though one of my favorites was when everyone on the train lost it because of the lone snow-capped mountain. Finally! Something that I could shrug off.

Tomorrow to the Amazon…where oxygen is plentiful.

Today I did possibly my favorite thing I’ve ever done while traveling. I went horseback riding through the Sacred Valley, which is a part of the Andes mountains. Let me be clear about what this means, because if someone told me that, I would imagine horses politely circling a mountain.

No.

We went up to the top and there was galloping involved. Those of you who know me are probably asking, “Do you know how to ride a horse?” The long answer is, well there was that one time we trotted around Yellowstone Park in a pretty controlled group….etc etc.

The short answer is, I do now.

But, baptism by fire is usually my lesson of choice, and this was certainly one of those instances. To make things more interesting, I got the ‘special’ horse. Those of you who are familiar with animals know that is just a euphemism for ‘difficult’. Bonito was his name. He was stubborn, didn´t want to go the same path that the other three horses were following, had to eat every single time we stopped, was content to go at his own pace until he realized he wanted to be in first and then would literally push the other horses out of his way, and as well as I could tell, felt at best neutral towards me. He was starting to sound like someone I know…

The guide, Edwin, reminded me that the horse and I had to trust each other. His refusal to follow the same path as the others was driving me mad though, until I started paying attention to what he was doing versus what the others were doing…and then realized he was just taking the path of least resistance and couldn’t give a fig about the others. That, I could relate to, and Bonito and I found a way to tolerate each other’s company for three hours.

Our guide was really great and took us through a less traveled path up the mountain, which made it incredibly peaceful and also a much better place to ride. I have yet to find a way to upload pictures, hopefully the next computer I come across won’t be an XP. Check out this picture though.

Yes, I realize how obvious that sounds, but let me provide some examples. The people are much friendlier in Argentina than most in Europe could ever dream of being. The atmosphere is more laid back and the style is much brighter and more fun, as opposed to trendy and uber-stylish. I really enjoyed shopping in Palermo which had a lot of great shops with clothes by Argentine designers. That was the other thing I liked about Buenos Aires, aside from a lone Zara I came across, it is largely without the chains you see everywhere in the world. So the things you’re buying truly are unique.

There’s a town in Uruguay called Colonia across the river that the locals like to go to for quiet weekends. It’s defintely quiet. The truth is it’s a great little place to relax in, but there isn´t much else to do. It’s very pretty, but all the museums close at around 4 (which was before we were finished eating) and the shops all sell the exact same touristy crap. And it´s all overpriced (like Martha’s Vinyard or Nantucket…but with much much less to do).

We did try the Urguayan national dish, which is a Chivito -  a sandwich with ham, steak, tomato, cheese, lettuce and a fried egg. That was really good. There was also a street that was clearly a big deal since it was on all of the tourist plaquards – the street of sighs. We walked over…and it was pretty blah as far as streets go. So we reasoned it must have some major historical significance. One of the locals informed us there were several stories, one involved women washing clothes. But apparently, the most popular story is that it used to be a street for hookers.

I know there wasn’t tons to do in Colonia, but maybe that street shouldn’t have made the tourist bureau cut.

Other highlights – the french fries, which seems like a stupid thing to point out, but it’s the traditional side for all the beef, so they take it pretty seriously. They are all hand cut and delicious. At one restaurant, El Palacio de las Papas Fritas (yes, that translates to the French Fry Palace), they served them soufflè style.

Empanadas are also pretty common. Empanadas are like orange soda for me…I know I like it, but I rarely eat them. I had one with sweet basil and cheese that stood out, and, in a twist, had a Roquefort and walnut empanada. It was actually really good, though it sounds strange. Grilled goat cheese, another traditional dish that includes crispy jamòn on top, was also a standout…but pretty much anything off the grill is.

For dessert there is of course flan and you can’t come to Argentina without having dulce de leche, which is like carmely sweetened condensed milk. I had it with toast in the mornings, but it’s also available on just about every menu in town. Oh, and of course the wine. We stuck to Malbec since that’s the big deal vino down here. Be sure to have it with every meal.

Here´s what I wouldn´t recommend – white salmon. I read about it in my tour books and tried it for dinner one night, it was really bland and just tasted like meaty white fish.

Skip it and have another steak.